Category Archives: Climate Change Fiction
by John O’Sullivan
“………CO2: The Heavy Gas that Heats then Cools Faster!
The same principle is applied to heat transfer, the Specific Heat (SH) of air is 1.0 and the SH of CO2 is 0.8 (heats and cools faster). Combining these properties allows for thermal mixing. Heavy CO2 warms faster and rises, as in a hot air balloon. It then rapidly cools and falls………………”
From “CO2 Spin on that” – a site no long available –
……..In his memoirs entitled “Contributions to Molecular Physics in the Domain of Radiant Heat”, detailing a series of experiments conducted at the Royal Institution, Tyndall fallaciously states with regard to Oxygen and Nitrogen that they are both quote:
“practically transparent to radiant heat.”
Thus laying the foundations of Anthropogenic global warming fraud.
This statement by John Tyndall is the origin of such claims as “the science is settled” and the “greenhouse effect is 150 year old established physics.” In terms of radiant heat it is the only factor that would differentiate between the various atmospheric gases.
After all, Oxygen and Nitrogen constitute 99% of the atmosphere. If these two gases are shown to absorb and re-emit infrared radiation, what would make so called “Greenhouse Gases” like CO2, such a threat to the environment at only 0.0385% of the atmosphere?
So the basis for the “Greenhouse Effect” is that incoming and out going IR is not absorbed by Oxygen and Nitrogen which instead passes straight through these gases. According to this unsubstantiated hypothesis, only those gases which are termed “Greenhouse Gases” posses the capability to absorb and re-emit infrared radiation.
The problem for the hypothesis of the “Greenhouse Effect” and of course AGW itself is that the basic premise on which the hypothesis is based is false.
Firstly, Oxygen and Nitrogen both have higher specific heat capacities than CO2……………
Update to 2019 NLGA conference
by Alison Ryan
The Resolution 29: That the NGA call on the Australian Government to:
Declare a climate Emergency
Establish a $10 billion national fund for councils to build the resilience of climate change vulnerable communities
Commit to providing maximum protection for all people, economies, species, ecosystems and civilisations, and to fully restoring a safe climate
Mobile the required resources and take effective action at the necessary scale and speed across Australia
Transport the economy to zero emissions and make a fair contribution to drawing down the excess carbon dioxide in the air
Encourage all other governments around the world to take these same actions
The Response, 24 Oct 2019, from Sussan Ley MP Minister for the Environment, read as follows:
The Australian Government takes the issue of climate change seriously. The Government is taking the action that is needed to address climate change. As a result of the policies that the Government has put in place over the last six years, Australia will exceed its Kyoto 2020 targets by 367 million tonnes. The Government has set out, to the last tonne, responsible targets to ensure that Australia meets its Paris 2030 commitments. Emissions per capita are now at the lowest level in 29 years and by 2050, emissions per capita will fall by 50 percent. Due to the Government’s commitment to meeting its Renewable energy Target, Australia’s investment per capita in renewable energy is currently the highest in the world. The Government will continue to take responsible action on climate change in a way which ensures both jobs for the future, and a clean and green environment.
A much clearer news report from The West Australian says, “Environment Minister Sussan Ley tells mayors to stay out of climate change”, dated 18 July 2019.
“Ms Ley did not say if she would declare such an emergency, but believes councils should focus on dealing with local environmental issues, such as household rubbish.”
“The Australian councils are part of 800 across the globe to have declared climate emergencies, encompassing more than 140 million people. Victoria’s Darebin City Council was the first to take the leap in 2016. Darebin has taken a steering role among other local administrations, leading a national climate emergency conference last year.”
Link: Environment Minister Sussan Ley tells mayors to stay out of climate change | The West Australian
I think these Councils are a not fit to do other than services. Through ICLEI they are globalists. eg: Think local – act global.
ICLEI news reports “Labor commits to working with local government on climate action”.
“Friday 8 April – Shadow Minister for Climate Change and Energy, The Hon. Chris Bowen MP committed to collaborating with local governments on climate action if elected to the Federal Government. The Hon. Chris Bowen joined over 200 Mayors and elected members representing over 108 local governments from across Australia to discuss Labor’s priorities to adapt, mitigate and build resilience.”
“As one of the small handful of former Mayors in the House of Representatives, I embrace partnership between the Commonwealth and local government, particularly in climate change,” stated Mr. Bowen. “States, territories and local governments are getting on with doing the job and I want to provide a better framework for that to occur as part of a more consistent national approach.”
“During the Roundtable, if elected, the Shadow Minister Chris Bowen committed to:
A roundtable with the Mayors in June to discuss how to accelerate climate action with local governments.
Invite a representative of the Australian Local Government Association to a meeting of all jurisdiction climate change and energy ministers to develop a national framework for climate change and energy policy.”
Link: Labor commits to working with local government on climate action — ICLEI Oceania
So there we have it – Local Government sneaking into the National Cabinet = 3 tiers of government.
SACK THEM ALL is the Rally cry for Melbourne’s next Freedom March on 14 May.
Telegram: Contact @melbournefreedomrallyupdates
by Alison Ryan
Local Government Councils work hand in hand with Federal and State governments and partner up with various UN bodies to implement Agenda 21 goals (UN SDG 2030). Under Liberal/National and Labor and Greens – it’s all been full steam ahead. Nowadays, Asian friends tell me the Australian education system is 2 years behind that in other Asian countries.
The top experts enlisted to create change in curricula for Global Education under the SDGs come from the ranks of the Trilateral Commission, such as Tom Kompas, Professor at the University of Melbourne, and ANU. Other Australian/NZ members on the TC list from the Asia-Pacific Group are:
Prof Quentin Grafton, Director of Food-Energy-Environment-Water (FE2W) Network, Chairman of UNESCO Chair in Water Economics & Transboundary Water Governance, Director of Centre for Water Economics, Environment & Policy (CWEEP) at the Crawford School of Public Policy, Convener Geneva Actions on Human Water Security, Convener Water Justice Hub
Allan Gyngell, Fellow Australian Institute of International Affairs (FAIIA),Convenor, Coombs Forum; Director, Crawford Australian Leadership Forum
*John R. Hewson, Former Federal Opposition Liberal Party Leader, Australia Professor and Chairman of Tax and Transfer Policy Institute, Crawford School of Public Policy, ANU, *Executive Committee
Tom Kompas, Director of Crawford School of Public Policy, ANU; Director of Australian Centre for Biosecurity and Environmental Economics (ACBEE); Editor-in-Chief of Asia and the Pacific Policy Journal, University of Melbourne
Mike Moore, Former New Zealand Ambassador to the US; former Director-General, World Trade Organization, Geneva; former Prime Minister of New Zealand
Michael Wesley, Director, Academic Outreach and Research, National Security College, Crawford School of Public Policy, ANU, Deputy Vice-Chancellor (International) at University of Melbourne
See: The Trilateral Commission
Michael McCormack (Nationals MP) is quoted: “local government should be recognised in the constitution”, from a news report on Monday 17 June, 2019, “Local councils vote for a referendum”.
Australia’s councils have voted to demand a referendum giving local government constitutional recognition.
The motion, calling for the government to initiate a referendum “at the earliest opportunity”, was carried 201 votes to three at the National General Assembly of the Australian Local Government Association (ALGA) in Canberra on Monday.
“Local Government presently depends on the continued will of the various State legislatures to empower local government to exist and perform various functions,” the motion put forward by Toowoomba Regional Council states.
“It seems preferable that the Commonwealth entrench the right for councils to exist and perform certain roles.”
If agreed to by the government, it would be the third referendum on giving local councils constitutional recognition after previous referenda held under the Whitlam and Hawke Labor governments both crashed.
It’s also not the first time ALGA has taken a crack at a referendum. A motion for a referendum within five years was passed at last year’s NGA but was given a polite thumbs down by the federal government, which said in a subsequent letter to ALGA it had no immediate plans to change the constitution.
Qualified support from the government in Monday’s vote came after Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack told delegates earlier in the day that local government should be recognised in the constitution to enable direct funding.
“I think, I believe, I know that local government should be in the constitution,” he said to applause from the audience.
“There is probably no more important thing than the commonwealth be able to fund local government directly, so that we can avoid going through the bureaucracy and so that we can get the money direct to where it needs to go, and that’s right on the ground.”
But he added a referendum had to be worded in the right way to convince the Australian public, and it had to be put to them at the right time.
“I know we’ve had referenda on it before, but next time when it goes up – and it has to, it should, it must – we have to get the wording right. And we have to put it in at a time when the Australian voting public is in the mood that they’re going to carry it.”
The referendum was among the first of a total of 121 motions that are up for debate over the next two days.
Motions to restore Financial Assistance Grants, support recycling and take action on climate change also featured heavily in Monday’s debate.
Motions passed at the ALGA NGA
# That the federal government declare a climate emergency
# That a minister be appointed to assist councils in their response the changing environment
# That the federal government establish a national strategy for climate change adaptation and resilience
# That the government consider indemnifying councils that take climate change mitigation initiatives
# That the current drought be elevated to natural disaster status
See: Local councils vote for a referendum – Government News
Regionalism is also a tool of the UN for integrating economies. The 5 UN Regional Commissions – United Nations Economic Commission for Europe (UNECE), United Nations Economic and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific (UNESCAP), Economic Commission for Latin America (ECLAC), United Nations Economic Commission for Africa (ECA) and United Nations Economic and Social Commission for Western Asia (UNESCWA) work like underground moles at the subregional and regional levels to make an end-run around national sovereignty.
One Nation Senator Malcolm Roberts says today’s weather patterns have occurred in the past.
These are Labor or Greens stooges promoting themselves as Independents.
Take note of their names found on this Website: – https://www.climate200.com.au/candidates
Claire Ferres Miles
Dr Monique Ryan
Dr Sophie Scamps
Print copies of these impostors and forward to all of your email addresses. Do not vote for them unless you want a Labor/Green government.
Climate 200 supported candidates
Climate 200’s goal is to support political candidates committed to a science-based approach to climate change and to restoring integrity in politics.
Editor: Poor silly bastards. Climate change is the second biggest con job after Covid in world history.
It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year and half since I joined ADVANCE to fight for Aussie freedom, security and prosperity, by your side.
But now the election has been called, I’ll be running for the Senate in the Northern Territory.
Although this means I just won’t have the time to devote to ADVANCE, I’ll still be fighting for Australian values.
I just wanted to say what a privilege it’s been to work on your behalf and to thank you for your support.
When ADVANCE asked me to come on board, I was proudly representing my community as the Deputy Mayor of Alice Springs Town Council.
I was privileged to be working as the Indigenous program director at the Centre for Independent Studies, giving me the opportunity to continue nearly 20 years of work to bridge the gap between Indigenous and non-and climate change Indigenous Australians.
ADVANCE was an opportunity to take that mission to a new level.
Your support has meant I could get out there and really put your voice front and centre.
And now the best way I can continue the fight for the mainstream Aussie values that you and I share is by focusing my attention on the Senate campaign.
When I get to Canberra, I’ll continue to advocate for REAL change and use the position to push back against those who only want to tear Australia down.
I’ll fight for stronger national security to keep Australians safe.
I’ll push back against climate alarmism and harmful energy policies that hurt jobs, hurt the economy and make us reliant on China’s renewables.
I’ll take the fight to the woke virtue-signallers who seek to divide us with harmful rhetoric, BLM propaganda and false history – and I’ll make sure the woke left keep their hands off Australia Day.
But none of this would be possible without your help and support over the past 18 months.
Your commitment to the Australian values of freedom, security and prosperity is one that I share, and these are values that I intend to put FRONT AND CENTRE when I get to Canberra.
So thank you for the support, the encouragement, the opportunities and the fantastic ride.
I know that while I’m taking the fight directly to parliament, you and ADVANCE will continue fighting to RECENTRE the nation, and you’ll always have my support.
And I know you’ll be fighting the good fight as the election heats up.
Don’t forget to tell everyone – if you vote Labor, you’ll get Greens.
This is Jacinta Price, signing off.
See you in Canberra!
by Lindsey Symonds
And here in Briz – at the juicy end of the Big Pineapple we have had our first climate lockdown – school’s out last week when a few clouds appear in the sky. This is the new forecast: cloudy with a chance of climate change and lockdown. I can hear the weather widget now.
They have to have a state of emergency now that the Whole Schlomo of the CoVID narrative has tanked. They have to keep their operation on life support. All the triple vaxxed liberals and cultural Marxists are back into the bistros with no mask sipping their soy lattes. So now it is time to get the sheeple terrified of climate change. Pathetic Polar bears floating on icebergs isn’t going to cut it. Now they have to get out the flood machine and flood em out. Looks like poor old Northern Rivers NSW got the worst of it. My tradies working up here on Tuesday told me the news from their surf club Coolie – a live cow came ashore at D Bar. Can you imagine. The Tweed with all the dead livestock floating down and the bull sharks swarming the carcasses. This cow just swims the flood and makes it to the surf.
Fellow Australians. Never to doubt it – we can flip our politutes, stand down these corporate agents of the UN and the High Cabal, reclaim our nation and set the good ship Australia on its foundations in law and government. It can be done.
Senator Malcolm Roberts strenuously warns against LNP/ALP’s coming ID legislation – a licence to live
Love him or hate him Barny is talking the talk. What he hasn’t mentioned is that his father-in-law Peter Campion from Tolga on the Atherton Tablelands has been chosen by Clive Palmer and Craig Kelly to run against Bob Katter in his long-held federal seat of Kennedy.
The intellectual Peter Campion is no slouch when it comes to his pet subjects of climate change and the Covid plandemic. Peter, a former fireman, has been a long time letter writer to all northern newspapers and has a large following, most of whom agree with his cutting analysis of the climate hoax.
Next off the block is George Christensen the renegade federal Liberal Member for Dawson (Mackay) who is retiring from parliament but he has a website under the banner of Nation First.
George fought tenaciously against Covid mandates in federal parliament and Cairnsnews knows he is a committed Christian. He is a good, decent man who should have left the NWO Liberals years ago.
Look out in 2022 it will be a wild election ride in Far North Queensland.
Diesel additive AdBlue production to be ramped up trying to keep national transport fleet on the road
Member for Kennedy, Bob Katter, says the news that Incitec Pivot will ramp up production of Australia’s supply of AdBlue (diesel additive for trucks) is music to his ears but urged the Federal Government to back the Sovereign Fuel Security Bill to ensure all fuel supplies are secure in Australia. Mr Katter said that he had spoken to Chief Executive Officer, Jeanne Johns, today, who confirmed they would be able to meet Australia’s AdBlue requirements for at least the next 12 months. “She confirmed to me that the Government had supplied an amount of money to be able to expand production and expand to meet Australia’s current requirements.
“Nothing was happening, no one had contacted her until we got onto the Prime Minister. “It just shows you what ordinary people can do. Clynton Hawks, our Candidate for Herbert, raised the red flag months ago and the Government sat on it. “But we wouldn’t have had to comment at all if the Government would have acted. Assurances that the Minister was setting up a taskforce I found to be anything but reassuring. “The problem was obvious, and we brought the solutions. We demanded government action and laid down the pathway. Full credit for this win must go to Clynton.”
Mr Katter warned that this demonstrated how vulnerable Australia was to foreign influence on our fuel supplies and it was essential both sides of Government got behind the Sovereign Fuel Security Bill. “If there was ever a flashing warning light, this is it. China successfully cut off an essential fuel. “Our crossbench legislation on sovereign fuel security will deliver up to 90 per cent of Australia’s fuel requirements. It will deliver security of supply of diesel, petrol, and aviation fuel to the Australian public.
“It provides a pathway for ensuring that the refining and manufacture of fuel is to be owned by Australians – not like the port of Darwin or the Port of Newcastle, half of the electricity industry and a monopoly of solar panels – all Chinese owned. “This legislation provides a pathway for turning our metropolitan waste – tyres, plastics, and other waste – into fuels like diesel and it fosters Australia’s automotive manufacturing sector by ensuring all government contract electric vehicles, and their component parts, are built in Australian owned factories by Australians.
“So, whether this event with AdBlue is a world shortage of Urea or just another hit upon Australia by a threatening middle kingdom (China), it is a glaring neon light and proves Australia’s needs fuel sovereignty and fuel security.”
Clynton Hawks – KAP Candidate for Herbert who is a trucking operator, said he welcomed the news but agreed that the Federal Government’s measures didn’t go far enough. “The announcement is a step in the right direction, but it doesn’t go far enough in the here and now,” he said.
“We’re still going to have a shortage because of how long it’s going to take for them to ramp up production.“I applaud the Government for finally waking up to the severity of the issue, but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. The Federal Government needs to see this as a wake-up call because I’ve never in my lifetime seen trucks being parked up and AdBlue bowsers shut off. “The AdBlue crisis is Australia’s canary in the coal mine moment.“Incite Pivot do 10 per cent of Australia’s AdBlue, but we’ve got 90 to go. The question everyone wants to know is how we get to that 100 per cent.
“We shouldn’t need a crisis for the Australian Government to act on fuel security. “The fuel sovereign fuel security bill puts the pieces in place for Australia to become 100 per cent self-sufficient in meeting our country’s fuel needs,” he said.
Consider this admission on 12 May 2012 by the prominent German meteorologist Klaus Eckart Puls in an interview by Bettina Hahne-Waldscheck of the Swiss magazine “Factum”, translated, summarized and paraphrased for brevity by P. Gosselin in a journal article titled “The Belief That CO2 Can Regulate Climate Is Sheer Absurdity”:
Bettina: You’ve been criticizing the theory of man-made global warming for years. How did you become skeptical?
Puls: Ten years ago I simply parroted what the IPCC told us. One day I started checking the facts and data — first I started with a sense of doubt but then I became outraged when I discovered that much of what the IPCC and the media were telling us was sheer nonsense and was not even supported by any scientific facts and measurements. To this day I feel shame that as a scientist I made presentations of their science without first checking it . . . Scientifically it is sheer absurdity to think we can get a nice climate by turning a CO2 adjustment knob.
Bettina: Is there really climate change?
Puls: Climate change is normal. There have always been phases of global warming, many that far exceeded the extent we see today. But there hasn’t been any warming since 1998. In fact the IPCC suppliers of data even show a slight cooling.
Bettina: The IPCC is projecting 0.2 degrees Celsius warming per decade, i.e., 2 to 4 degrees Celsius by the year 2100. What’s your view?
Puls: These are speculative model projections, so-called scenarios — and no
prognoses. Because of climate’s high complexity, reliable prognoses just aren’t possible. Nature does what it wants, and not what the models present as prophecy.
The entire CO2 debate is nonsense. Even if CO2 were doubled, the temperature would rise only 1 degree Celsius. The remainder of the IPCC’s assumed warming is based purely on speculative amplification mechanisms. Even though CO2 has risen, there has been no warming in 13 years.
Bettina: How does sea level look?
Puls: Sea level rise has slowed down. Moreover, it has dropped a half centimeter over the last 2 years. It’s important to remember that mean sea level is a calculated magnitude, and not a measured one. There are a great number of factors that influence sea level, e.g., tectonic processes, continental shifting, wind currents, passats, volcanoes. Climate change is only one of ten factors.
Bettina: What Have we measured at the North Sea?
Puls: In the last 400 years, sea level at the North Sea coast has risen about 1.40 meters. That’s about 35 centimeters per century. In the last 100 years, the North Sea has risen only 25 centimeters.
Bettina: Does the sea level rise have anything to do with the melting North Pole?
Puls: That’s a misleading conclusion. Even if the entire North Pole melted, there would be no sea level rise because of the principles of buoyancy.
Bettina: Is the melting of the glaciers in the Alps caused by global warming?
Puls: There are many factors at play. As one climbs a mountain, the temperature drops about 0.65 degrees Celsius per 100 meters. Over the last 100 years it has gotten about 0.75 degrees Celsius warmer and so the temperature boundary has shifted up about 100 meters. But observations tell us that ice also 1,000 meters up and higher has melted. Clearly there are other reasons for this, namely soot and dust. But soot and dust do not have only anthropogenic origins; they are also caused by nature via volcanoes, dust storms, and wildfires. Advances and retreats of glaciers have always taken place throughout the Earth’s history. Glaciology studies clearly show that glaciers over the last 10,000 years were smaller on average than today.
Bettina: In your view, melting Antarctic sea ice and the fracture of a huge iceberg 3 years ago are nothing to worry about?
Puls: To the contrary, the Antarctic ice cap has grown both in area and volume over the last 30 years, and temperature has declined. This 30-year trend is clear to see. The Amundsen Scott Station of the USA shows that temperature has been declining there since 1957. 90 percent of the Earth’s ice is stored in Antarctica, which is one and a half times larger than Europe.
Bettina: Then why do we always read it is getting warmer down there?
Puls: Here they are only talking about the West Antarctic peninsula, which is where the big chunk of ice broke off in 2008 — from the Wilkins-Shelf. This area is hardly 1 percent of the entire area of Antarctica, but it is exposed to Southern Hemisphere west wind drift and some of the strongest storms of the planet.
Bettina: What causes such massive chunks of ice to break off?
Puls: There are lots of factors, among them the intensity of the west wind fluctuations. These west winds have intensified over the last 20 years as part of natural ocean and atmospheric cycles, and so it has gotten warmer on the west coast of the Antarctic peninsula. A second factor is the larger waves associated with the stronger storms. The waves are more powerful and so they break off more ice. All these causes are meteorological and physical, and have nothing to do with a climate catastrophe.
Bettina: Then such ice breaks had to have occurred in the past too?
Puls: This has been going on for thousands of years, also in the 1970’s back when all the talk was about “global cooling”. Back then there were breaks with ice chunks hundreds of square kilometers in area. People were even discussing the possibilities of towing these huge ice chunks to dry countries like South Africa or Namibia in order to use them as a drinking water supply.
Bettina: What about all the media photos of polar bears losing their ice?
Puls: That is one of the worst myths used for generating climate hysteria. Polar bears don’t eat ice, they eat seals. Polar bears go hungry if we shoot their food supply of seals. The polar bear population has increased with moderately rising temperatures, from 5,000 50 years ago to 25,000 today.
Bettina: But is it true that unlike Antarctica, the Arctic is melting?
Puls: It has been melting for 30 years. That also happened twice already in the last 150 years. The low point was reached in 2007 and the ice has since begun to recover. There have always been phases of Arctic melting. Between 900 AD and 1300 AD Greenland was green on the edges and the Vikings settled there.
Bettina: And what do you say about the alleged expanding deserts?
Puls: That doesn’t exist. For example, the Sahara is shrinking and has lost in the north an area as large as Germany over the last 20 years. The same is true in the South Sahara. The famine that struck Somalia, Kenya and Ethiopia was mainly caused by the leasing of large swathes of land to large international corporations so that they could grow crops for biofuels for Europe, and by war. But it is much easier for prosperous Europe to blame the world’s political failures on a fictional climate catastrophe instead.
Bettina: So we don’t need to do anything against climate change?
Puls: There’s nothing we can do to stop it. Scientifically, it is sheer absurdity to think we can get a nice climate by turning a CO2 adjustment knob. Many confuse environmental protection with climate protection. It’s impossible to protect the climate but we can protect the environment and our drinking water. On the debate concerning alternative energies, which is sensible, it is often driven by the irrational climate debate. One has nothing to do with the other.
One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world, one where there were no petroleum products ruining the earth She tossed aside her cotton sheet and wool blanket and stepped out onto a dirt floor covered with willow bark that had been pulverized with rocks.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Pulverized willow bark,” replied her fairy godmother.
“What happened to the carpet?” she asked.
“The carpet was nylon, which is made from butadiene and hydrogen cyanide, both made from petroleum,” came the response.
Greta smiled, acknowledging that adjustments are necessary to save the planet, and moved to the sink to brush her teeth where instead of a toothbrush, she found a willow, mangled on one end to expose wood fibre bristles.
“Your old toothbrush?” noted her godmother, “Also nylon.”
“Where’s the water? asked Greta.
“Down the road in the canal,” replied her godmother, ‘Just make sure you avoid water with cholera in it”
“Why’s there no running water? ”Greta asked, becoming a little peevish.
“Well,” said her godmother, who happened to teach engineering at university, “Where do we begin?”
There followed a long monologue about how sink valves need elastomer seats and how copper pipes contain copper, which has to be mined and how it’s impossible to make all-electric earth-moving equipment with no gear lubrication or tires and how ore has to be smelted to a make metal, and that’s tough to do with only electricity as a source of heat, and even if you use only electricity, the wires need insulation, which is petroleum-based, and though most of Sweden’s energy is produced in an environmentally friendly way because of hydro and nuclear, if you do a mass and energy balance around the whole system, you still need lots of petroleum products like lubricants and nylon and rubber for tires and asphalt for filling potholes and wax and iPhone plastic and elastic to hold your underwear up while operating a copper smelting furnace and . . .
“What’s for breakfast?” interjected Greta, whose head was hurting.
“Fresh, range-fed chicken eggs,” replied her godmother. “Raw.”
“How so, raw?” inquired Greta.
“Well, . . .” And once again, Greta was told about the need for petroleum products like transformer oil and scores of petroleum products essential for producing metals for frying pans and in the end was educated about how you can’t have a petroleum-free world and then cook eggs.
Unless you rip your front fence up and start a fire and carefully cook your egg in an orange peel like you do in Boy Scouts. Not that you can find oranges in Sweden anymore.
“But I want poached eggs like my Aunt Tilda makes,” lamented Greta.
“Tilda died this morning,” the godmother explained. “Bacterial pneumonia.”
“What?!” interjected Greta. “No one dies of bacterial pneumonia! We have penicillin.”
“Not anymore,” explained godmother:
“The production of penicillin requires chemical extraction using isobutyl acetate, which, if you know your organic chemistry, is petroleum-based.
Lots of people are dying, which is problematic because there’s not any easy way of disposing of the bodies since backhoes need hydraulic oil and crematoriums can’t really burn many bodies using as fuel Swedish fences and furniture, which are rapidly disappearing – being used on the black market for roasting eggs and staying warm.”
This represents only a fraction of Greta’s day, a day without microphones to exclaim into and a day without much food, and a day without carbon-fibre boats to sail in, but a day that will save the planet. – contributed