Greta does not like raw eggs

One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world, one where there were no petroleum products ruining the earth She tossed aside her cotton sheet and wool blanket and stepped out onto a dirt floor covered with willow bark that had been pulverized with rocks.

What’s this?” she asked.

Pulverized willow bark,” replied her fairy godmother.

What happened to the carpet?” she asked.

Greta exclaims,” Saving the planet is hard work. Do I have to pull up the last of the fence palings to heat the eggs?”

The carpet was nylon, which is made from butadiene and hydrogen cyanide, both made from petroleum,” came the response.

Greta smiled, acknowledging that adjustments are necessary to save the planet, and moved to the sink to brush her teeth where instead of a toothbrush, she found a willow, mangled on one end to expose wood fibre bristles.

Your old toothbrush?” noted her godmother, “Also nylon.”

Where’s the water? asked Greta.

Down the road in the canal,” replied her godmother, ‘Just make sure you avoid water with cholera in it

Why’s there no running water? ”Greta asked, becoming a little peevish.

Well,” said her godmother, who happened to teach engineering at university, “Where do we begin?

There followed a long monologue about how sink valves need elastomer seats and how copper pipes contain copper, which has to be mined and how it’s impossible to make all-electric earth-moving equipment with no gear lubrication or tires and how ore has to be smelted to a make metal, and that’s tough to do with only electricity as a source of heat, and even if you use only electricity, the wires need insulation, which is petroleum-based, and though most of Sweden’s energy is produced in an environmentally friendly way because of hydro and nuclear, if you do a mass and energy balance around the whole system, you still need lots of petroleum products like lubricants and nylon and rubber for tires and asphalt for filling potholes and wax and iPhone plastic and elastic to hold your underwear up while operating a copper smelting furnace and . . .

What’s for breakfast?” interjected Greta, whose head was hurting.

Fresh, range-fed chicken eggs,” replied her godmother. “Raw.”

How so, raw?” inquired Greta.

Well, . . .” And once again, Greta was told about the need for petroleum products like transformer oil and scores of petroleum products essential for producing metals for frying pans and in the end was educated about how you can’t have a petroleum-free world and then cook eggs.

Unless you rip your front fence up and start a fire and carefully cook your egg in an orange peel like you do in Boy Scouts.   Not that you can find oranges in Sweden anymore.

But I want poached eggs like my Aunt Tilda makes,” lamented Greta.

Tilda died this morning,” the godmother explained. “Bacterial pneumonia.

What?!” interjected Greta. “No one dies of bacterial pneumonia! We have penicillin.” 

“Not anymore,” explained godmother:

The production of penicillin requires chemical extraction using isobutyl acetate, which, if you know your organic chemistry, is petroleum-based.

Lots of people are dying, which is problematic because there’s not any easy way of disposing of the bodies since backhoes need hydraulic oil and crematoriums can’t really burn many bodies using as fuel Swedish fences and furniture, which are rapidly disappearing – being used on the black market for roasting eggs and staying warm.

This represents only a fraction of Greta’s day, a day without microphones to exclaim into and a day without much food, and a day without carbon-fibre boats to sail in, but a day that will save the planet. – contributed

About Editor, cairnsnews

One of the few patriots left who understands the system and how it has been totally subverted under every citizen's nose. If we can help to turn it around we will, otherwise our children will have nothing. Our investigations show there is no 'government' of the people for the people of Australia. The removal of the Crown from Australian Parliaments, followed by the incorporation of Parliaments aided by the Australia Act 1987 has left us with corporate government with policies not laws, that apply only to members of political parties and the public service. There is no law, other than the Common Law. This fact will be borne out in the near future as numerous legal challenges in place now, come to a head soon.

Posted on January 18, 2021, in ABC, Agenda 2030, Al Gore, Climate Change, Climate Change Fiction, Climate Skeptics, General and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Oh such sweet justice to the little one’s ears 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just brilliant

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s all good except for the penicillin.
    I’m allergic to it – but I’m still here.

    Like

  4. I agree with Greta. We are to be symbiotic with nature if we truly want to evolve. Destroying the environment is not necessary. We can do both. ??????

    I am saddened to see this article

    Get Outlook for iOS ________________________________

    Like

  5. What a load of rubbish Kristi! If YOU want to live like that then so be it, but leave the rest of us sane people out of it because this is the real world.

    Like

  6. These deluded idiots wouldn’t last a day without all the things in our lives that depend on oil to be produced. I’d like to challenge these dumb and ignorant people to spend a week with no food produced by farmers, no running water, no toilet or paper to wipe your ass, no roof over your head, no mechanical transport whatsoever, no medicine or doctors, and definitely no clothes that all require the use of oil somewhere along the production process.
    They’d be balling their eyes out and begging to come back to civilization, lol!

    Like

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