Help needed for Lismore flood victims

Is this a joke? If it is it’s about as funny as a fire in an orphanage. While it’s true many residents lost nearly everything they had (again), the last thing they need is furniture. Like every other authoritative body of late, Lismore Council too has decided to never let a good crisis go to waste. Lismore council is using the flood devastation to implement their long dreamed plans of converting much of the residential area into parkland. Theoretically it makes sense. Only an idiot would build a city where it floods when it rains and Lismore has no shortage of floods and no shortage of idiots.

So the council has taken advantage of the hysterical cries of the environmental as anything and they too are claiming the last flood was caused by climate change. As evidence they quote the dodgy government department of meteorology records that only go back about a hundred years or so. Maybe they think as there were no records before then there were no floods either.

Anyway, many houses were damaged last time it rained and the the council have decided in all their wisdom that all buildings damaged by flood must be demolished. As a consequence, furniture is as useless as tits on a bicycle as there’s a chronic housing crisis in Lismore.

The tale does have a happy ending though, the few remaining entrepreneurs who’s businesses aren’t floating somewhere in the South Pacific now have the opportunity to re-establish themselves as used furniture storage kings. As an added bonus, there will be plenty of parkland for the homeless so it’s a win win for all.