Poor Craig busy chasing martians instead of making coherent statements


A bypass road for the Kuranda Range is well into the planning stages by private means and has passed every test as a viable route from Mareeba to Cairns taking 20 minutes off the existing dangerous Kuranda Range track with its outdated, derelict, Barron River traffic bridge.

Labor Member for Barron River Craig Crawford

In spite of the garbage spewed forth by the Labor state member for Barron River and former ambulance attendant Craig Crawford, there would not be one house resumption , there would be no added traffic to Intake Road at Redlynch, no tunnels and it can be built in 18 months for $450 million.

This is $1.5 billion cheaper than Member for Kennedy Bob Katter’s ‘wobbly way’ to Edmonton and without heavy transport-inhibiting tunnels.

In a public tussle between Crawford and Bob Katter every bogey man possible has been dreamt up by poor Craig, in between drinks of course, believing houses will be bulldozed presumably with occupants intact and the job will take 15 years. Then he found two martians drinking at the bar under his house and discovered all his port and brandy had disappeared.

After a brawl with the slippery aliens, a somewhat bruised Craig called the ambos but they were too busy carting vaxx-damaged victims to the overflowing Cairns Base Hospital and told him to visit the local doctor.

He got his missus to drive him the few hundred metres but the clinic staff wouldn’t let him in because he hadn’t been jabbed.

Ah well back to Smithfield Tavern to top up his depleted supplies, nurse his bruises and lie-in-wait near his bar with a baseball bat for the martians to reappear.

Craig is moving his office from Smithfield away from the nearby ambulance station in case he is called to re-enlist as a driver to help replace the 600 ambos he and his Cabinet colleagues sacked because they won’t take the deadly jab. Nor will Craig – the Premier said he didn’t have to.

He is off to Redlynch to set up his new office, fortuitously near the shops and in case the martians come back, he can walk to the bottleo.

A typical sight on the notorious Kuranda Range Road. At least two vehicles per week go over the edge as soon as it rains

After Tablelands commuters threatened to lynch poor Craig last year over the poor state of the Kuranda Range Road and its 1000 daily, heavy vehicle movements, he promised the problem would soon be fixed.

He told ABC Radio he would place driver-less cars on the range and that would stop the cars and trucks from careering over the edge.


That didn’t go too well with many angry truckies thinking he was looking through the bottom of a brandy bottle while he was solving the problem.

Nevertheless now he is installing a system of stop and go lights along the length of the range road trying to stifle the traffic flow.

The cabling contract alone will cost $30 million and it’s anybody’s guess what the completed project will cost or if it will work.

Poor Craig, he wasted $30 million on the range road that was declared obsolete by the Main Roads Department in 2005. Those funds could have provided the necessary corridor for the proposed Reddicliffe Highway from Mareeba to the Cairns CBD.

If the state government had anything to do with the road construction then it would most likely take 20 years to build, one astute engineer quipped.

“We can build it in 18 months,” the engineer said.

Craig was being conservative probably for the first time in his life at 15 years.

About Editor, cairnsnews

One of the few patriots left who understands the system and how it has been totally subverted under every citizen's nose. If we can help to turn it around we will, otherwise our children will have nothing. Our investigations show there is no 'government' of the people for the people of Australia. The removal of the Crown from Australian Parliaments, followed by the incorporation of Parliaments aided by the Australia Act 1987 has left us with corporate government with policies not laws, that apply only to members of political parties and the public service. There is no law, other than the Common Law. This fact will be borne out in the near future as numerous legal challenges in place now, come to a head soon.

Posted on January 17, 2022, in ALP, AMA, Annastacia Palaszczuk, bob katter and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. This Craig Crawford is the biggest dik around. I spent considerable time informing him back and forth about the dangers of the covid clot-shots and he never looked at one shred of the evidence sent to him. Time and time again he never changed his tune.
    His name will be on the list with the others to be fitted for Nuremberg 2.0 nooses. The evidence is now a matter of record that he had the opportunity to help prevent the deaths and injuries but did nothing.


  2. Mr Editor – I am still laughing !!!! I can hardly believe how you wrote it !!! an absolute hoot !!!!!!!!! poor Craig !!!!!!!!! keep em coming !!!


  3. The last true Queensland blue Labor MP was Tom Burns (dec), since then the riff raff have taken over and deserted the working man.


  4. Nothing like a good stiff drink to help ignore one’s obligations and reality, eh? 🙂 Are the martians green or rainbow coloured?


  5. Labor, liberal, National’s or the greens have proven they floate around like the tide doing FA for 4 years and election time ring 4CA and tell John how brilliant they are.

    If you were to ask a politician to go get 4 pices of fish @$5= $20, $5 chips =$25 total, Give them 50 buck’s. They would return with a $5 pizza and keep the change.

    How many shops closed in CBD?
    How many cars stolen?
    How much is insurance in FNQ?
    If you call the police do they come?
    How many rule’s and regulations for small business while big corporations are not regulated at all!

    Time to wake up and change FNQ.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. What does it take, to get rid of these clowns, and please don’t say an election. We all know they’re rigged.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Evelyn mcmenamin

    Could you please check who was the govt minister with his family and members of hellsong on the rubie Princess and who gave the orders to disembark


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