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Larry Pickering our greatest scribe on Adam the “Ape”

from Larry Pickering

There was the brilliant Lewis Jetta’s celebration of a goal that looked more like a Kabuki fan dance but no simulated spear throwing, no “up your bum” aggressive arm and fist gestures, no charging at astonished patrons, no little girls ejected from the ground… actually the weekend’s footy had no nasty racist incidents at all! Could it be that Adam Goodes decided to stay home?

Goodes was shocked at the average Aussie’s reaction to his disgraceful antics, but he shouldn’t have been, he should have been grateful that some disgusted footy fan hadn’t jumped the fence and jobbed him!

Media’s Left had emboldened him and adorned him with an undeserved Australian of the Year prize. He started to believe his and their bullshit. He only mixed in white Aboriginal circles that promoted an Aboriginal victim mentality.

Well, Adam was served a dose of reality from real Australians who believe this land is theirs too. He clearly didn’t appreciate that much, so he took a week off to sulk.

How dare you tell me you’re more Australian than me you bastard? I was born here before you were! I understand this land better than you!

Come bush with me Adam and I’ll show you what it’s like to spend three months at a time fencing on horseback. I’ll show you how to catch perch without a hook and how to cook it, where to find bush fruit and vegetables, how to make real ‘roo tail soup, bake wild tomato damper and cook an emu egg omelette.

I’ll explain what snakes taste best and when you tire of that fare I’ll show you how to catch a feed of teal duck without a gun and what firewood will last all night to keep the dingoes at bay.

Or why not take six months off, like I did a few years ago, and I’ll show you an inaccessible Australia from an R22 helicopter you are never likely to see. But I guess you are too busy with gala celebrity appointments where fawning activists regurgitate your bullshit.

You want to share this land with me, Adam? You’re welcome… but never tell me it’s not mine too, and never taint our national game with your vile racism.