By John Mikkelsen
I wonder how many Australians, like me, have found communicating with our national health care bureaucracy, Medicare, about as easy as winning Lotto?
Oh, it shouldn’t be that hard, Boomer, their website contains a 24-hour contact number, right?
Well yes. But after finding that a refund of $41.40 owing on my wife’s recent visit to our non-bulk billing medical centre hadn’t made it back to our bank account in more than a week, despite a receipt showing it had been paid, she visited the GP’s office and was told she would have to contact Medicare.
“It’s obviously been paid somewhere,” was her helpful advice. Maybe, but not to us. How many other people even bother to check and how many other “refunds” end up “somewhere”?
So I got on the phone to the giant health entity to enquire how that could happen.
I didn’t really expect a human to answer the call – what bureaucracy or big business does that these days? So I listened to the pleasant female -sounding AI bot asking what the call was about in a couple of words, I said “Unpaid refund”. She/ it then rattled off a variety of numbered options, I chose one that sounded vaguely appropriate but I was then told I could find the answer to various questions via the Medicare app or through their MyGov link.
“Have a nice day,” she/it concluded in the same cheery voice before hanging up on me.
I had already had a look on MyGov and checked the list of refunds paid. This latest one wasn’t included.
So I called the Medicare hotline again, went through the options with Bot lady and chose the last on the list: Speak to an operator. Finally I might get somewhere, but then the same pleasant voice told me that because of the volume of calls, none were available.
“Try again later..” Click. Call ended. No option of waiting in a queue for an hour listening to the same boring tune played over and over, no option of requesting a call-back which some non- government service providers do actually include when inquiries reach overload.
Right. With a slight trace of steam coming out my ears, I went on-line again in an attempt to find another way of contact – like an email address.
That should be simple and easy, let alone logical, and it would relieve pressure on their “24 hour, seven days a week” call centre. Well so I thought, and after searching through a multitude of word salads I did finally discover what was claimed to be an email address, which I copied and pasted into an address bar, and cc’d my own address.
I then outlined the case of the missing refund, attached a copy of the receipt stating it had been paid, and asked for the matter to be rectified.
A second after hitting send, it bounced back with the message that the address wasn’t recognised. WTF?? More steam out the ears – was it an old address or did it only apply in some other state? Maybe … back online again searching all the Medicare links and options through MyGov, I finally found one for complaints, so let’s try that!
Again there were numerous options for what the complaint might entail but finally I managed to type a message about the missing refund and asked for it to be paid. I also included the suggestion that they could save everyone a lot of bother if they just provided a genuine contact email address.
They did give me a feedback number a few days ago but at the time of writing, there has been no response.
The Albanese Labor Government made a big fanfare announcing its $6.1 billion “Strengthening Medicare reforms” last October, claiming it was “the largest investment in bulk billing in Medicare’s 40-year history.”
According to Health Minister Mark Butler, Australians saved an estimated $15 million in GP gap fees in November and December, “helping to ease the cost-of-living pressures on household budgets.”
Well, Mr Butler finding a GP that bulk bills in our neck of the woods which also happens to be one of Australia’s major tourism hot spots, is a bit like my opening analogy of winning Lotto. And ours have actually increased their fees since your bulk-billing largesse.
Might I be so bold as to suggest you could improve services by making the Medicare call centre actually answer calls. Or call back when they can. Or just include a contact email that actually works in each state and territory. How hard can that be?
On a related topic of online banking anomalies and service providers, I recently had a similar experience when attempting to renew my Optus mobile phone account online.
After linking with our bank account, I clicked submit and received a message back saying the payment couldn’t be processed because of “activity” on the account.
Again, what the ….? So I logged into the account and sure enough the sizeable payment had actually been deducted…
Call Optus, go through an identity check and finally get to speak to a foreign lady who has difficulty understanding me, and likewise, me her. But finally she grasps the concept that I’m claiming to have been charged for a service that hasn’t actually been renewed.
“Can you hold the line, I’ll have to talk to my supervisor..”
“No problem..”
Queue the elevator music that plays over and over and over for at least half an hour.
Finally, she returns and announces “Yes, I can confirm that we did receive the payment and we can refund it to your account but that might take a few days..”
I let out an audible sigh: “Well if you’ve received the payment can’t you just renew my mobile service, otherwise I’ll have to do all this again?”
“Ohhh, well, I’ll have to check with my supervisor again so I’ll put you back on hold, okay?”
“No problem!”
Finally, after another extended wait listening to the same mind-numbing tune, she comes back and informs me, “Yes, we can do that…”
Glory be! Then she asks if I can rate her service and switches me through to a survey. I give her a reasonable score for solving the problem and that was that.
But why does our modern switched-on life have to be so bloody complicated. Back when I was a boy not even space traveller Flash Gordon had a computer and the nearest thing to a smart phone belonged to comic book detective – extraordinaire, Dick Tracy (except his was more a futuristic smart watch on which he could make and receive calls.)
Do we really need to make life even more complicated with moves for a cashless society, digital currency and now a national digital ID which was rushed through the Senate just before Easter?
To all those who’ll say I should modern up and get with the 21st Century, I’ll close with a repetitive quote from a contemporary Destiny’s Child hit:
You’ll be sayin’, “No, no, no, no, no”
When it’s really, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes”
Let’s hope “No” prevails! (I expressed some similar views in another article, “No More cheques in the mail)
John Mikkelsen is a former editor of three Queensland regional newspapers, columnist, freelance writer and author of the Amazon Books Memoir, Don’t Call Me Nev. (https://www.amazon.com.au/Dont-Call-Nev-John-Mikkelsen/dp/B09S244GP1/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=)

John Mikkelsen: Everyone will be saying NO, NO, NO and shaking their heads in absolute incredulity that they have been taken for one massive ride – and it’s too late to back out! The time to stand up is NOW, NOW, NOW!
John’s post also got me thinking , poor old brain wonders what hit it!
It might be good going back to the ‘good old days’ when you went into a bank and used your money without questions being asked.Though I must say I have found our local Westpac branch operating as a normal bank should!
No questions asked, cash accepted gladly, cheque books as normal and staff delightfully friendly!They get 10 out 10 from me.
Some of the other greedy little banks could take a lesson from them.
Perhaps it depends on the manager as to how a bank works?
Anyway, I think I would be very happy going back to the wayss the 60s and 70s , WHERE THERE WILL BE NO INTERNET,!, but I would like to take my washing machine!
To a time where we posted off cheques to pay bills or went and paid them personally.
Where if I ring up Telstra I get a lovely Aussie voice who listens to my problem and it is solved for me in 24 hours
Where if I ring an electricity business I can speak to a human!
PLEASE BRING BACK HUMANS ON THE END OF A PHONE …ONES WHO HAVE NO ACCENT AND WE , ESPECIALLY DEAF PEOPLE…CAN UNDERSTAND THEM!
Only in my dreams…but if solar flares from the sun eventuate or magnetic poles flip and we lose all the internet…I think I could manage quite well.
No more mobile phones ( I guess many of the youngsters will commit suicide if mobile phones disappear).
No horrible reality shows on tv.
No Facebook, Tik tok, Instagram or other damaging organisations.
No scammers and cat phishers causing grief.
My list is a mile long.Time I got back o reality and did the washing up!
I felt quite at home reading John’s post, plus all the others.Luckily in Albury we have a major tax office where one can go and see them personally, though I haven’t had the need for that pleasure!
Centrelink also has an office here where you can see a human if you are happy to sit for and hour or two…take your knitting or a book.You will finish both in the time you spend waiting.
I must honestly say I have found the personel there very pleasant, which helps to ease the pain.They all say they are understaffed…where did all those billions go that Albo claims went into them?
Is Albo doing a ‘Morrison’?
Will he walk away wth 52 million in the bank leaving a bad smell behind him when he is kicked out?
Going off the story some, but coercing people to accept online services whether gov along with their trusted wellll digital Id or banking is in full swing, running in lockstep with an attack on legal tender cash transactions.
Received today from ANZ.
“Deposit book availability and usage
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Some of our accounts currently allow you to use a deposit book when you make a deposit with us. You will no longer be able to order deposit books on these accounts.
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If you have an existing deposit book or receive one before 16 June 2024, we recommend that you securely destroy it by cutting or tearing it into pieces.
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You can continue to make deposits into your account without the need for a deposit book using your card or your BSB and account number.
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Remember, you can also deposit funds at an ANZ Smart ATM with your card, or by entering your BSB and account number.
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You can also use your BSB and account number or setup PayID® through ANZ App or Internet Banking to receive deposits to your account.
Cheque book availability
•
We’re phasing out cheque books as we’ve seen an ongoing decline in cheque use as more customers choose faster and easier ways to do their banking.
•
The changes we are making on 16 June 2024 are:
∘
It will no longer be possible to order a cheque book for your account on Internet Banking.
∘
If you have never had a cheque book on your account, you will not be able to order one.
∘
If you have a cheque book, you can continue to use it and order a replacement through the Contact Centre or from a branch with teller services until further notice.
•
You can still make fast and secure payments using the ANZ App, Internet Banking and Phone Banking.
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If your account does not offer cheque books today this change will not impact you.”
Had to change my address and order a new Medicare card recently. Same story but eventually I got to talk to a nice Indian girl. Took 3 days in all, long delays so I hung up. The MyGov account had been cancelled by my gov because I hadn’t used it in over 6 months. Effin’ joke.
I have been involved in Natural therapy for 50 years when if I had listened to my Doc my son would have died..Since then I have used acupuncture , oesteopathy, natural herbs made up by Chinese acupuncturist, and Indian herbal doc.I have saved several people’s lives by passing on what I have learned from them and in the courses I have done. Hospitals need at least a third of their space allocated to these remedies and our Medicare cost would dramatically drop. Had this conservation with many Docs and most agree. The AMA is the problem-too much power.
I have great suspicions about the doctors I go to, and then dealing with the GovCorp organizations is just a nightmare, so I am opting out. I will no longer log into MyGov… not that I did that much anyway. And I’ve already stopped renewing my license, and next is to put Common Law plates on my car…. Oh! And now I’m summoning 3 judges and the bosses of AFP and CDPP to my Common Law Court. It’s time to hold these people accountable for their crimes against the People, our Rights, and the Constitution.
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Channel 7 reporter drops dead
https://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/tragedy-as-sunrise-reporter-found-dead/video/85951b9567ae38fecfcf3382030d674a
Call a doctor !!! Er …
Telstra is just as useless. Spent hours on multiple occasions trying to get a refund & every bloody time; they’re saying that the refund will be in the mail; but it never was… It’s been years, but nope, so there’s no point wasting valuable time…
An excellent article which immediately had me feeling pangs of empathetical angst. I have been trying to get in touch with the Tax office and have experienced the hanging up of calls. They have the audacity to threaten to take action by a certain date but I suspect they never will as the cost will not be worth it for them. I have written up 7 call dates in my diary so far that have not resulted in contact. No wonder we as citizens have no regard for authority and contempt for Govt related processes.
Great article. I was complaining that l spend at least 2 hours a day doing businesses admin and trying to make things work that don’t. The simple things in life are now soooo complicated
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Thanks for the tip, they owe me since mid last year when my village quack did a runner, but now I feel confident it was the government not him. I haven’t chased it up, I just quit going to the village quacks and went full alternative instead, there is so much good stuff around and the opinions of the village quack are hopelessly random and always end up with a bunch of fairly useless tests or offers of surgery or the patent medicines.
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