By Paul Zanetti Cartoonist

*IT KNOWS DISTANCE: At 1.5 meters from someone it drops to the ground but any closer and it will kill you.

*IT CAN COUNT: As long as there are no more than 5 in a room you are safe, any more than that, and it will kill you.

*IT KNOWS WHAT BUILDINGS IT IS IN: If you’re in a Stadium or Bunnings you’re ok, but if you are at a Restaurant or Aged Care it will kill you.

*IT KNOWS IF YOU ARE EATING: If you are eating you can take your mask off in a restaurant, but if you are not eating you better put your mask on because it will kill you.

*IT KNOWS IF YOU ARE STANDING OR SITTING IN A PUB/CLUB: If you are sitting and drinking you will be ok, but if you stand up and drink it will kill you.

*IT KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TALKING AND SINGING: If you talk you will be ok, but if you sing it will kill you.

*IT KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INSTRUMENTS: If you play drums you will be safe, but if you play a flute it will kill you.

* IT KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SUBURBS AND LGAs: If you’re in the Eastern suburbs you’re fine to walk without a mask and head down to the beach, but if you’re in the Canterbury Bankstown LGA area, Malaka it will kill you.

* IT KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHURCH AND PROTESTS: If you protest you will be ok, but if you go to church it will kill you.

*IT KNOWS IF YOU ARE AN ESSENTIAL WORKER OR NOT: If you’re an Essential Worker you can go to work and be safe even though you deal with multiple different people everyday, but if you are not an Essential Worker, say an Office Worker and you work inside with the same people everyday, you’d better work from home or it will kill you.

*IT KNOWS IF YOU’RE 6KMS AWAY FROM YOUR HOUSE: If you’re under 5kms from you’re house you’re fine, carry on and exercise, only for 1 hour, but if you’re 6kms from your house and 1 hour and 1 minute outside it will kill you.

“HOWEVER I STILL CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW IT HAS TOLD PEOPLE TO HOARD TOILET PAPER”..!!!